Bull Shit

(Photo Credit: Ryan Plakonouris - https://www.shamwari.com/the-magnificent-flightless-dung-beetle/)

Let’s just be honest… problems are shit… but wait, before you jump to any conclusions, let’s ask ourselves, what does that really mean?

For its part, shit is amazing. It is an essential part of the earth’s eco-system and nutrient cycles, and used well, it can be fertilizer for plants, a source of energy for heating, cooking and much more. In fact, shit is so amazing, there is even a serious theory that pooping may have been one of the major factors contributing to one of the biggest events of the proliferation of complex life on our planet (say what?! But really, check it out: https://www.wired.com/2007/12/lifes-complexit/)

So then, if our problems are shit…. then that means they must actually be pretty amazing too!

Let’s ask a question, when someone says what you did or said was bullshit, how do you react, honestly? I know for myself, I will often quickly start trying to excuse myself (like disowning a smelly fart or poop!) and try to prove that somehow or the other it wasn’t “bullshit”, just a misunderstanding, something that needed to be explained etc.

But this is all too often a missed opportunity for personal growth, self-responsibility, maturity and a real chance to change a problematic pattern within ourselves. Much like real shit, it seems smelly, unwanted, dirty. We want to rid ourselves of the feeling that we have been “bullshit”, a kind of “shitty feeling” or “feeling like shit”.

But you know what’s so amazing about realizing when we have acted in a “bullshit” way? That realization and acceptance can be the catalyze for our growth, just as real bullshit can be a fertilizer.

Accepting how we feel and how the other person felt, how our actions or words actually contributed to or even directly created that situation, allows us to see and possibly change the actions and behaviors that led to that situation in the first place, or at least work on improving them.

This is taking responsibility, and saying “Oh yeah, you know what, that is my smelly pile of shit over there, let me get a wheel barrel and do the work to take it out to the garden, mix it with the soil, and grow something!”

The shit isn’t actually bad, it’s a wonderful thing really, but it’s leaving it there in the middle of the room that is the problem!

And if we don’t take care of the bullshit we create, it’s a bit like saying “Oh that shit over there in the corner? Its not really shit you see, because…..” Or “You know, it doesn’t really smell like shit to me, maybe it’s….” Before you know it, you have a house (okay well really, habits and relationships with others) that stink!

So the next time someone calls what you have done or said bullshit, take a moment and reflect before going right in to a defensive mode (I am speaking to myself here too). Maybe it will be nothing, but maybe if you take the time to see the situation objectively as well as from the other person’s point of view, you will find something, something that if you really change and work on, will actually make your life and relationships more nourishing and loving.

Honestly, even as I write this post, I am dealing with what some might call “my own shit”. A certain hesitancy within myself to write publicly, to open MY ideas and MY writing, and thereby MYSELF to potential judgement or criticism.

If it was someone else writing, I know I would encourage them to share what they wrote, and not worry what people would think. That thanks to sharing their point of view, they added a little more color, a little more expression and another voice to the conversation of the world (as another member of HES helped me understand). Well, you know what, here’s to appreciating my own shit, the wonderful fertilizer which encourages the personal growth of those who use it wisely!